Why Obama will win in a landslide.

Technology to enforce the Herd Mentality of the Democrats For a couple of hundred years our representatives have relied on their constituents to cast the appropriate vote to ensure their reelection. Recently house democrats reallocated agricultural earmarks originally slated for the study of capturing and reusing the flatulence of dairy farm cow populations to U.S. Department of Agriculture project that will automate the remote herding of cattle and other livestock. By outfitting the livestock with radio controlled technology the researchers found that what cowboys have been doing since the 19th century could be done remotely. For generations, cowboys have used commands such as "gee" and "haw" to tell their cattle to move right or left. Now with satellite video, GPS, and micro radio transmitter and receiver technology this all becomes controllable remotely.




Researchers were alarmed and surprised to discover that voting age liberal democrats were susceptible to same technology. Having discovered this opportunity Democratic House leadership rushed to have funds allocated in the recent Bailout Bill to fund the rapid deployment of the technology to the general population. Researchers are measuring which audible sounds work best for herding the liberal democratic voters. Pictured below is Barack Obama testing the technology using the most recently discovered key audible control phrases.